let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
