She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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