There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
