yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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