i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
