So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my being single is dangerous.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
