I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
