What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
