I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
