Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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