As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
