I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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