We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
