Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
