I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
