So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i came on her dog
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
