thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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