I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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