I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
