I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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