I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sorry my hands just texted you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
