Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I deserve this hangover.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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