i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish I only lived at night.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
