Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
