winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
