Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
high people should be assigned attendants
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
