my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The Olympian is in my bed
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
