there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
