You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
