There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
where does the pee come out of this thing
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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