She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
