the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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