so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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