When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
