Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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