He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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