Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
