Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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