thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
