I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
