yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
