She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
