the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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