I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
