i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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