how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
