Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
