my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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