3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
