No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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