weddingsv make me drug and hornr
...so i touched it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
