Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
