I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
