Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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